i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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