scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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