cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
