He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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