He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
