Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
