I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
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I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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