How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
