whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
