Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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