Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
