they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
