Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
