i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
