Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
