I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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