he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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