I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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