I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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