She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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