Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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