I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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