So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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