seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize