yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
