do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
