I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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