do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
