Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
