im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
