so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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