and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
NoShamevember. You game?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
