he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
