At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
