1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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