So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
