They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
