At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
