Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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