he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
