You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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