soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
