What a fucking waste of an outfit
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
