I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
