I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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