you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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