don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
