Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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