We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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