his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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