ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize