Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
