One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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