her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
