so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
