i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My pussy is not your playground.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
