NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
