you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
