are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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